Worrying is a strange thing: it may serve a purpose to protect us from harm, but too much worry can waste our time and energy.
Reasonable concerns make sense; There's no point in worrying too much.
Those who worry too much entangle themselves in knots trying to avoid danger and achieve their goals…
But they often end up worrying so much that they become trapped in their thoughts and sabotage relationships and opportunities along the way.
This way you can recognize someone who worries way too much.
1) Constant nervousness
Those who worry a lot are constantly nervous.
If they wait in line at the cafe for even a minute, they get nervous. If they are on hold for five minutes, they panic.
They worry about whether they will be late for their work deadline, even though their work so far is ahead of schedule.
It's just constant nerves and worries.
2) Fidgeting and nervous tics
Fidgeting and nervous tics are the telltale trait of someone who worries too much:
They find it difficult to keep their hands still, tapping their feet as if there is a hidden rhythm that only they can hear.
They sweat in cold environments and have clammy hands all the time:
Barring a physical condition, this is a chronic overthinker, there is no doubt about that.
3) Concentration disorder
Problem orientation is another thing that chronic warriors often struggle with.
They find it very difficult to suppress the overprotective tendencies of their brain, and as a result it is very difficult to concentrate completely on one thing.
The stressed brain has difficulty focusing on just one thing because it constantly returns to and cycles through other worrying things.
4) Difficulty sleeping
This is a comment related to the previous point:
Insomnia is a common problem for people who worry too much. That's because once they go to sleep there are no more distractions.
Then the worries in their heads come roaring back and refuse to leave them alone.
Sleeping becomes increasingly impossible until sheer physical exhaustion or a drug like melatonin does the trick.
5) Extreme decision stress
Decision making can be difficult, especially when you are faced with two good choices or a difficult dilemma.
Even the calmest among us can struggle and suffer a little.
But for people who worry too much, even the smallest decision is an obstacle that they can hardly cope with, let alone make a complete decision about. Even responding to a friend's text message with a particular emoticon becomes a tortuous activity for him or her.
This chronic form of worrying about decisions can often be linked to low self-esteem and poor self-image.
6) Inability to tolerate uncertainty
This is directly related to the previous point and is very common for those who are concerned:
They just can't handle uncertainty.
Not knowing what is going to happen keeps them awake at night and even positive anticipation or excitement eventually becomes an object of concern.
“What if moving to California is much better than moving to Denver? What if this is the best choice?”
Many of us may enjoy having these types of problems in our lives, but the worry wart turns it into a real headache.
7) Catastrophizing about the future
“What if X happens?”
This is the constant obsession of someone who worries too much.
Even if you show them that the chance of X happening is only 0.00001%, they will still go down a Google rabbit hole for hours and analyze it to death.
And when those worries eventually disappear, they will find a new one.
Many things can go wrong in the future, although the irony is that most of what people worry about is not the actual cause of their death or demise.
Worrying is of little use, and if it becomes obsessive, it is very counterproductive!
8) Obsession with the opinions of others
The person who worries too much often becomes overly obsessed with the opinions and reactions of others.
This is very time-consuming and also leads to a lot of extra stress and worries that are completely unnecessary.
There is no way to read other people's emotions or thoughts with certainty, and guessing too much only leads to extreme anxiety. Sometimes the only solution is to be more direct about it.
“Instead of guessing the reactions of others, ask…
“Assuming that the best is the best goes hand in hand with the assumption that if the friend has a negative reaction, he or she can talk about it, clear the air and then move on with their friendship.”
9) Excessive self-criticism
People who worry too much are not only concerned about what others think and feel, they are also likely to beat themselves up quite a bit.
By being so hard on themselves, the overprotective person is generally trying to gain some degree of control and security over a situation or aspect of themselves that they feel bad about.
This is also very much related to low self-esteem because it is related to the belief that there is something wrong with them.
They are full of regret and self-reproach over the smallest things, often driven by an inner sense of shame and unworthiness.
10) Intense perfectionism
Intense perfectionism is another aspect of the person who worries way too much.
They often try to achieve an ideal that they imagine in their heads and that no one else can see, holding themselves at such a lofty level that it is impossible to achieve.
This often stems from early childhood and a 'golden child' syndrome passed down from parents that made them feel not good enough.
However, despite these deep roots, it is possible to overcome perfectionism if the overprotective person begins to realize that he/she is of greater value than he/she thinks, and that he/she is still worthwhile even if he/she isn't perfect.
Worrying won't solve anything
Let's face it: there's enough to worry about in life.
But no matter how much we worry, there is no way to change most of what happens.
Worrying about what is beyond our control is disempowering. It spends our energy and attention in ways that are not helpful and ultimately often sabotages our effectiveness in making decisions and moving forward in life.
The key to worrying less is to practice radical acceptance of what is beyond our control and focus more fully on what we can change instead.
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