Home Nutrition People who seem confident, but deep down have no self-esteem, often exhibit these subtle behaviors

People who seem confident, but deep down have no self-esteem, often exhibit these subtle behaviors

People who seem confident, but deep down have no self-esteem, often exhibit these subtle behaviors

Trust can be difficult to establish. Some people walk around full of fuss and bravado, but deep down they suffer from a nagging lack of self-esteem.

In fact, there are often subtle behaviors that these outwardly confident people exhibit that indicate their inner insecurities.

And those of us who have been there know that it’s not always easy to spot. But with a little insight, you can start to recognize these signals in others – and maybe even in yourself.

So let’s look at these eight subtle behaviors exhibited by people who may appear confident, but are actually struggling with low self-esteem.

Believe me; the symptoms are more common than you might think.

1) Overcompensation

If you’ve ever encountered someone who seems to have all the confidence in the world, you may have noticed a tendency to overcompensate.

Overcompensation is a term psychologists use to describe behavior in which an individual goes to great lengths in certain areas to hide their perceived weaknesses. It’s like trying to cover up internal insecurities with external achievements.

For example, take someone who brags excessively about their achievements or who always feels the need to be the smartest person in the room. They may seem confident, but this could be a sign that they are trying to mask some deep-seated self-esteem issues.

In other words, confidence isn’t about proving yourself to others, it’s about being comfortable with who you are – warts and all.

2) Apologizing unnecessarily

I’ve always been one to apologize…a lot. For years I was convinced that it was just good manners. But over time I realized that this was not just a matter of politeness. It was a subtle sign of my low self-esteem.

People who often say sorry for things that aren’t their fault or that don’t require an apology often do so because they’re not sure of themselves. They may feel like they are constantly on the verge of making a mistake, stepping on toes, or upsetting someone.

I used to apologize for everything, from mundane things like the weather not being perfect when I had an outdoor event planned, to bigger issues like someone else’s mistake at work. It took a lot of introspection and conscious effort to stop this habit.

So if, like me, you’re constantly apologizing, it could be a sign that beneath that veil of politeness and apparent self-confidence, you’re struggling with low self-esteem.

3) Perfectionism

Perfectionism may seem like a positive trait at first glance. After all, striving for the best is admirable, right?

But there is a dark side to it.

When someone always strives for perfection and is never satisfied with “good enough,” it may indicate a lack of self-esteem. This relentless pursuit of perfection often stems from fear of failure or criticism.

According to a study, people with low self-esteem are more likely to do this suffer from perfectionism. They constantly feel the need to meet high standards in order to gain the approval of others, which strengthens their self-esteem.

4) Difficulty accepting compliments

Accepting compliments with grace is a skill that not everyone possesses. For some it is modesty, but for others it is a sign of low self-esteem.

People who struggle with their self-esteem often find it difficult to believe that they deserve praise. They may brush off compliments, downplay their achievements, or draw attention away from themselves.

Instead of responding with a simple “thank you,” they may resist the compliment or attribute their success to luck or the help of others. This inability to accept compliments often indicates an underlying lack of confidence and self-esteem.

So the next time someone struggles to accept a compliment, remember that they may be dealing with deeper self-esteem issues. It’s not about arrogance, but a reflection of how they see themselves.

5) Constant comparison with others

We all compare ourselves to others sometimes, but for some it’s more than a passing thought. It’s a way of life.

People who constantly compare themselves to others often do so because they lack self-esteem. They measure their worth based on how they stack up against others, rather than their own inherent worth.

This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy or dissatisfaction with their own lives. They may seem confident on the outside, but inside they constantly wonder if they are good enough, smart enough, and successful enough.

Remember that true confidence comes from within and is not dependent on external validation.

6) Fear of saying ‘no’

Saying ‘no’ isn’t always easy. It can be especially difficult for people who lack self-confidence.

People with low self-esteem are often afraid of letting others down or appearing unkind. They fear that saying ‘no’ may lead to rejection or conflict. As a result, they agree to things they would rather not do or take on more than they can handle.

It can be heartbreaking to watch someone constantly overextend themselves in an effort to please others. It’s like watching a ship slowly sink, knowing they’re doing it to themselves, but feeling powerless to help.

So if you know someone who seems unable to say “no,” remember that it may not be because he or she is too kind or generous, but because he or she is struggling with inner demons of low self-esteem.

And sometimes the best way to help is to let them know that it’s okay to prioritize their needs and say “no.”

7) Seeking validation

During my college years, I found myself constantly seeking approval from my peers. I would worry about making decisions without first getting a nod of approval from someone else.

This constant need for validation stems from a lack of self-esteem.

People who are unsure of their worth often rely on others to affirm their worth. They often ask the opinions of others before making a decision, or constantly seek reassurance that they are doing the right thing.

While it’s normal to ask for advice or affirmation occasionally, relying on it to dictate your choices and actions can be a sign of low self-esteem.

8) Avoidance of confrontation

Confrontation isn’t fun for anyone, but for people with low self-esteem it can be particularly terrifying.

People who lack self-confidence often go out of their way to avoid disagreements or conflict, even when necessary. They may give in to the demands of others or refrain from expressing their own opinions just to keep the peace.

This avoidance often stems from the fear of rejection or disapproval. They fear that standing up for themselves could lead to negative consequences or damage their relationships.

Final reflection: It’s a journey

Understanding human behavior and emotions is a complex endeavor, often revealing more layers the deeper we dig.

One of those intriguing layers is the dichotomy between external confidence and internal self-esteem. As we’ve discovered, these two don’t always go hand in hand.

According to renowned psychologist Carl Rogers, β€œThe strange paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, I can change.”

This underlines the importance of self-acceptance in building true self-esteem.


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