People who have the rare combination of being kind, but also being able to stand up for themselves, usually have these 8 qualities

Being kind doesn’t mean being a pushover.

In fact, some of the most effective boundary setters I know are highly empathetic and considerate of individuals.

But they also know how to stand up for themselves and will not let anyone abuse them or bully them in any way.

This is something that I am still working on improving in my own life, and I know many people who are either overly friendly and accommodating and say yes to everything, or overly strict and self-centered, rejecting any request or request .

The key is to find that middle ground where you can stand up for yourself and still be kind, and think about it.

This is a look at the rare and powerful qualities of kind but determined people who stand up for themselves in the most graceful way.

1) Friendly but firm

This person is friendly but clear.

They respect everyone around them, but they do not confuse respect with automatic obedience.

They are able to respect themselves so highly that social pressure or even work pressure does not make them fold like origami. They trust their judgment.

They have their own boundaries and limitations of what they will accept and do, and they will not allow anyone else to hijack their lives.

They are nice, but not soft. Not by a long shot.

Characteristic: Confident.

2) Good listener

They can practice active listening and really hear what others are saying.

This makes their “no” the most powerful, because this strong and kind person does not dismiss or minimize the needs of others.

They actively listen to what people say and do their best to understand the needs being expressed and what they mean.

By understanding what is being asked and being truly caring, they make it clear that they do care. But caring doesn’t always mean agreeing.

Line: emotionally intelligent.

3) Empathetic but not naive

This person is empathetic and can put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

They can understand the desires and needs of those around them, but they are not naive either.

They can see that their boss is under pressure and needs someone to take on more work, and they empathize with their boss’s needs.

But they also know that if they take on the extra work, they will be overworked for months and sacrifice their social lives. So they say no.

Characteristic: worldly wise.

4) Aware of their own mistakes

Those who are kind but can say no are acutely aware of their own mistakes.

They don’t beat themselves by any means, but they are self-aware at an above-average level.

This way they are better able to know their own motivations and set their own goals. This allows them to avoid being manipulated by others and allows them to have proactive reasons for their boundaries rather than just reactive ones.

Characteristic: self-confident.

5) In line with their core values

The most important thing about someone who is kind but has strong boundaries is that they can say yes to their own dreams more than they are focused on saying no to someone else.

Their core values guide them in a proactive way that moves them forward, and they say no when someone or something intrudes or goes directly against what they are trying to achieve and what they stand for.

It’s nothing personal, but this person’s core values ​​are not up for debate. They have a very strong code of conduct and ethics, and they stick to it.

Characteristic: principle.

6) Imbued with a long-term vision

Those who can say no without being an idiot about it are people with a long-term view.

They are focused on what they want to achieve and have a positive and powerful vision of their own future and that of others.

If sometimes this means saying no to one person, it also means saying yes to other people or certain other priorities.

They are able to say yes to themselves and everything that happens in their lives, and to set priorities that sometimes require saying no.

Characteristic: visionary.

7) Able to say no and mean it

Rejection and saying no don’t mean much if they are negotiable.

The kind of person who can be compassionate and still say no is able to say no and stick with it.

They’re nice, but they’re not blurry. They mean what they say, and they stick to it.

When they reject someone or something, they are not just pushing their boundaries because of pressure or pressure from someone trying to convince them.

Unless new information or context comes to light that would cause them to say yes, they politely and graciously stick to their original decision.

Characteristic: determined.

8) Willing to be disliked or misunderstood

Being friendly doesn’t always mean being popular.

No one likes to be told no, and the empathetic individual understands that sometimes saying no can lead to someone disliking you or even being misunderstood.

They know that this is not always in their control and they accept that this is just the reality of interpersonal relationships.

They are confident enough in their own values ​​and priorities to be willing to say no when it is the right thing to do.

Property: Safe on its own.

Saying no the right way

All these points give us many valuable tips on how to say no in a respectful but powerful way.

Ultimately, everyone respects those who are able to set boundaries and stick to them.

Better yet, by having a long-term vision and core values ​​that don’t change, the friendly but principled individual ultimately attracts more respect from everyone. Those they say no to may not like it, but they eventually come to respect it.

In business and in their personal lives, the friendly but firm person shows that they know what they want and are willing to stand up for themselves.

This is a powerful approach to life that we can all learn from and continue to improve in our own lives.

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