People who appear friendly but deep down lack true empathy often exhibit these eight subtle behaviors

I would describe a certain person in my life as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s not the nicest thing you can say about someone, but I looked at this person like a good friend and discovered that behind his smile he was only interested in getting information from me and not at all concerned about my situation or feelings.

The sad thing is that it isn’t until you give them what they are looking for that you realize they are not who they say they are. That’s because unempathetic people have mastered the art of just smiling and laughing, but lack authenticity and sincerity.

If you have empathy, caring for others comes naturally, but if you lack that, you have difficulty getting along with people, and this is reflected in what you say and how you behave.

You’ll notice that people who seem friendly but deep down lack true empathy often exhibit these eight subtle behaviors, which I outline below.

To protect yourself from abuse, it’s best to learn how to identify these types of people and what tricks they have up their sleeves.

Let’s start.

1) They believe that other people are too sensitive.

This may seem like an obvious behavior, but people with little empathy have a way with words.

They see emotions as weakness because they don’t understand why people feel this way.

I can relate to this because I was in a relationship with someone who I thought was a good friend until I found myself in a very difficult position, but when I opened up about how I was feeling I noticed their blankness at first expression, and before I could finish my story I was given a long speech about the need to be strong in the face of adversity.

You might think of it as a friend trying to motivate you to get you out of a slump, but that wasn’t what this interaction was. It’s like they’re dismissive of what you’re saying or not that interested in how you feel. They are quick to tell you to get over it or move on without listening or supporting you.

If you’re not paying attention, you might think they’re being honest, but their dismissive attitude comes from a lack of deep empathy for you.

2) They joke at inappropriate times.

Because these individuals cannot put themselves in someone else’s shoes, they worry about challenging situations.

They tend to joke inappropriately when faced with emotional events because they don’t know how to deal with them.

For example, if you’re feeling down, they may overdo the jokes or lay the positive phrases on really thick to improve your mood, but it doesn’t come from an authentic place of wanting you to feel better.

When you are visibly upset, you may hear them say things like, “It’s time to stop crying; it won’t change anything,” or “Put a smile on your dial.” Your display of emotions makes them feel uncomfortable, so instead of offering unconditional support, they joke about it because they want you to move on.

It’s a subtle behavior because at first, you might think they’re just trying to improve your mood, but the more they do it, the more it should serve as a sign of their poor level of empathy.

3) They come across as dishonest.

Unempathetic people try to mimic your emotions when they talk to you. It is difficult and subtle behavior that you only recognize if you pay close attention.

If you talk about something upsetting, they will try to show their concern through their expressions, and they may use words like “That’s awful” or “You must be upset” because this is expected or considered a decent response.

Despite trying to appear interested in your emotions and circumstances, they still seem cold.

You can’t fake genuine warmth and sincerity, which is how you can recognize people who seem friendly but don’t have an ounce of empathy.

4) They are overly friendly.

If you don’t really care about other people, how do you get them to like you?

You would fake a smile, use a lot of hand gestures, and probably say a lot of nice things in conversations to win people over.

When you interact with such a person, you might think that he/she is just being very friendly, but in reality, they use these expressions to their advantage. You may even doubt its authenticity.

People who lack true empathy will use over-the-top gestures, add lots of complimentary words, and fake their facial expressions in their attempts to be seen as sympathetic and sincere.

Their efforts are unnatural, and only when you become aware of their overly friendly approach will you discover their lack of authenticity.

5) They can’t read your emotions.

lack true empathy

As an emotionally intelligent person, if you saw that someone was clearly in distress, you would know to go over and comfort them, or simply ask if they are okay.

But if you don’t have empathy, you won’t immediately see the signs that someone is worried, stressed, or needs some company.

Empathetic people may avoid talking to someone upset, or they may continue a normal and “friendly” conversation without asking the person if they need help or someone to talk to.

Their inability to sense or read your emotions often leads to avoidance.

You may have the impression that they are simply upset by your sadness and therefore don’t know how to respond to you, but the truth is that their lack of empathy makes it challenging for them to offer the tenderness you Need. need.

6) They have difficulty maintaining relationships.

There is no doubt that low levels of empathy make things difficult to develop and maintain strong emotional bonds.

Think about it.

If you can’t handle or respond to someone else’s emotions in a healthy and caring way, how can you become a committed and supportive partner?

Empathy means taking the time to listen to the experiences and thoughts of others without judgment. If you are a selfish person in a relationship and lack empathy, you will never be interested in how your partner feels or what their perspectives are.

As a result, this type of emotional absence leads to problematic relationships or ongoing rifts. But it doesn’t start that way, and usually, these individuals are charming and friendly to create a positive impression.

However, when something goes wrong, they blame their exes, but this pattern of behavior is related to their lack of empathy.

7) They don’t believe bad things will happen to them.

A person who lacks emotional intelligence will not outright say that bad things only happen to other people. They will disconnect from the situation and make judgments.

In conversation they will point out that they would have made different decisions or that they would have been much stronger and not fallen apart like the victim. They talk about themselves with a big grin or laugh jokingly at someone else’s ‘bad decisions’.

At first you might not consider it insensitive, because we all deal with trauma and challenges differently, but gradually you will discover the same attitude towards others who fall on hard times, and you will question their intentions and insensitivity.

8) They don’t bring out the best in you.

There is a specific type of person associated with the absence of empathy, and they are called manipulators.

I’m not saying that every person who has little to no empathy is a manipulator, but there is a very important subtle behavior that you should always be aware of so that you never fall into anyone’s clutches.

A manipulator will groom you at the beginning of a relationship, say what you want to hear, and make the effort to build a strong but quick connection. Once you trust them, their goal is to control you to get their way, and they do this by targeting your self-esteem and self-confidence.

They come across as friendly and joke about how you can’t do something, or they give you a backhanded compliment that makes you doubt yourself.

This behavior is so subtle that you often think you misheard what they said. In other cases, the person may convince you that they have never offended you or that you are too sensitive, and you end up believing them.

Yew someone makes you doubt yourself pay close attention to what they say and how they behave, as they could be manipulating you.

Last words

Empathy is an underrated value and personality trait that gives us the ability to be respectful, kind and considerate.

You may be born with emotional intelligence, but most learn this trait in childhood by talking to their peers and paying attention to their moods.

Unfortunately, some people never develop a true sense of empathy, and because we need this quality to develop healthy connections and read other people, they have to mimic it to create it.

So if you find yourself questioning the authenticity of certain people in your life, consider the subtle behavior of people who seem friendly, but deep down they lack true empathy.

Your consciousness can help you protect your emotions and self-esteem from people who lack compassion and sensitivity.

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