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If your partner does these 9 things, they are marriage material

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If your partner does these 9 things, they are marriage material

If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably wondered about the future and what kind of partner your partner might have if you ever got married.

But the truth is, when you’re in the middle of the situation, it can be hard to tell if your partner has the qualities of a great husband.

Sure, they can be a nice girlfriend or boyfriend, but do they have what it takes to get through life and marriage?

Well, by the end of this article you will know.

If your partner does these 9 things, they are marriage material:

1) They respect your boundaries

If there is one big difference between my husband and the men I have dated in the past; his respect for my boundaries.

I vividly remember telling him at the beginning of our relationship that I hate being yelled at during arguments. I find it very disrespectful to be sworn in.

And to his credit, he has never directly sworn at me during an argument, and believe me, we’ve had plenty of that in the last six years!

So the point is, whatever your boundaries are, it’s crucial that your partner respects them, especially if you’re considering tying the knot with them.

And as hard as it may be to hear this: if they don’t respect your boundaries, they simply don’t respect you.

2) They take responsibility for themselves

I’ll get to the heart of this:

Do you want a life partner or a child?

Because if your partner cannot take responsibility for themselves, you will find yourself playing more of the role of an angry parent than a satisfied partner.

This is what it is about:

Someone who can reflect, admit their mistakes and take care of themselves (and others) makes a fantastic partner.

You can really build a good life with them, a life in which you work hard and make progress.

And isn’t that what a successful marriage is all about?

3) They provide emotional support

Now I can’t emphasize enough how important emotional support is.

It doesn’t matter how beautiful your partner is. Or how rich, funny or charming.

If they don’t hold your hand and let you cry after a long day, or let you breathe after a weekend with your parents, they aren’t marriage material.

Because let’s be honest, life is hard sometimes.

We have bad days. And we all deserve to go home to someone who cares enough to listen and offer their support.

On the other hand, if your partner tells you, “Don’t be so sensitive,” makes fun of you, or is too busy for you when you’re feeling down, it might be time to reconsider whether it’s worth it at all. to stay with you. .

4) They can take a joke

Laughter will get you through many situations in life, so it’s important to have a partner who has a sense of humor.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come home, stressed to the max, pissed off at life, and seen my husband do something funny to make me laugh.

It always improves my mood.

Also couples laughing together often have a stronger bondwhich should equate to a strong marriage in the long run.

So don’t compromise on this.

If your partner gets short-tempered when you light-heartedly throw him off, or if he lacks your sense of humor, I would think twice about marrying him.

It will be a long life when you are with someone who takes everything so seriously.

5) They compromised

You’re probably tired of hearing the word “compromise” in relationships, but unfortunately, you can’t ignore it.

Because no two people will ever tune in to EVERYTHING forever.

There comes a time when your partner wants to visit his parents for the weekend, but you have a game night planned with your friends. Someone has to give in.

Even when it comes to cooking food and deciding who takes out the trash, compromises are bound to become part of everyday life.

And that’s why it’s so important that your partner is good at it.

They don’t get angry. They don’t become petty. And they are not selfish.

They make compromises for the good of the relationship, and ultimately because they are a team player.

6) They listen actively

We were recently invited to dinner at a friend’s house. It was the first time we had all met in such an intimate setting.

I noticed that every time my friend spoke, her husband listened attentively.

He looked straight at her, nodded along, and never interrupted her.

It may not sound like a big deal, but I could tell how much he respected her by listening to what she had to say.

They have been married for 25 years, and there is no doubt that this fundamental act of being present and fully involved with each other contributed to their successful marriage.

7) They did the work

Does your partner pick up the freight? Let’s say if you both work: will they help with chores or cooking when you both get home?

If so, that’s a good sign.

Will your partner make the effort to straighten things out after an argument? Will they work on their problems to avoid repeated arguments?

If so, that’s another good sign.

Does your partner contribute to the relationship? as much as you? That means: they make time for you, they are attentive and they invest in the relationship.

If the answer to all of the above is “yes,” then marry them, because it’s not often you find someone willing to do the work. So when you do that, you know you’re onto something good.

8) They fight fair

Your fighting styles, like your sense of humor, will play a big role in your marriage.

If you’re with someone who gives you the cold shoulder or is extremely volatile during arguments, putting on a ring won’t magically calm him down.

Ideally, your partner should be able to regulate his emotions (i.e. no tantrums), reflect on his behavior and always look for solutions rather than blowing the problem out of proportion.

They shouldn’t play the blame game or manipulate you during arguments.

The bottom line is, if they fight dirty fights now, you might be in for a lifetime of dirty fights. But if they fight fair, you have a chance at a good, healthy marriage.

But a lot of this comes down to the next and final point on the list:

9) They communicate openly

Of course, if your partner communicates openly and honestly, you won’t have to deal with the issues I mentioned above (guilt, cold shoulder, volatility, etc.).

Instead, they sit down and quietly work on the problems.

And in all other areas of life they will do their best communicate about their needs and boundarieswhich is super important in a marriage.

I have friends who are already divorced in their mid-thirties.

And one thing they always say is that they never saw the divorce coming. They never “fought”, something most of them were very proud of.

Until I pointed out that never fighting or confronting often means that one or both people are not communicating how they really feel.

So while things may seem great on the surface, there are a lot of tensions, resentments, and unspoken feelings that bubble away until one day they explode.

I hope this article has shed light on whether your partner is marriage material or not. This list is only a guide, not a definitive list.

Ultimately, my husband didn’t check all of these boxes when we first met, but he was willing to work on a lot of things, and that’s why I chose to marry him.

So if your partner is aware of his shortcomings and is actively improving himself, keep that in mind as you consider whether or not he or she is marriage material.

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