Home Psychology If you want your relationship to grow stronger, say goodbye to these 9 habits

If you want your relationship to grow stronger, say goodbye to these 9 habits

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If you want your relationship to grow stronger, say goodbye to these 9 habits

Rome wasn’t built in a day – and neither are relationships!

They need to be nurtured over time, with both people doing their best to keep the spark alive.

No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always time to change. Even though it’s been years, you can still find ways to make your life together even better!

If you want your relationship to grow stronger, you need to eliminate all the toxic habits that keep you stuck. Starting with the next thing!

1) Lying (even about the little things)

It doesn’t matter if you commit to your partner over the little things, right? After all, they’ll never know…

Having this attitude will not create a strong relationship with the person you love.

You should never lie to your partner – even about things like how much you spent on your new coat or the crazy thing your friend did on a night out.

If you do this, it is a sign that you are a little insecure in the relationship. You don’t trust that your partner will love and accept you for all the things you do – even how much you spend on your clothes or what your friends do!

Opening up completely to them is a big step. But it is necessary if you want your relationship to grow stronger.

Because it’s only a matter of time before they discover your little lies.

And if they do, it will really hurt – and they may never trust you again!

2) Tell them only part of the story

It’s not technically lying if you simply leave out the truth. It’s like you’re only telling them part of the story and leaving out other parts.

But this is not the way to build a strong, reliable relationship.

I was in a relationship with someone who did this all the time. When I found out what he did, I was quite hurt.

Not because of the things that actually happened, but because he felt like he couldn’t tell me about them.

When people leave out these kinds of details, they usually have a good reason for it. As if they are protecting their partner or feel that their partner is not interested/understanding.

But that’s not something your partner asked for, and he probably wouldn’t be happy about it if he knew you were doing it.

It’s something you’ve decided to do. And it is something that is damaging your relationship – and it has to stop!

Which leads us nicely to the next bad habit…

3) Hiding parts of yourself

Another behavior that damages relationships is hiding parts of yourself for “the good of the relationship.”

This usually stems from fear. You worry about what your partner will think or say if you reveal your true thoughts and interests. And you worry about whether you will still be loved.

So you don’t share your thoughts or interests because you think it is “best”.

I understand how people get used to this. But unfortunately this is not the best. I’ve had it happen before, where someone hid their true side, and it really hurt.

It hurt that they didn’t trust me enough to show their true selves. And it hurt that they didn’t have the same relationship with both feet that I did.

It also made them mad at me because they felt like they couldn’t be their true selves, even though I wanted them to be…

Like I said, I understand why it happens.

But if you want a strong relationship, you have to be yourself. You have to jump in with both feet. If they don’t like you, they’re definitely not the one. But the chance of that happening is quite small!

This is more likely to make your relationship stronger, make you feel more accepted, and make them feel more trusted.

4) Sticking to solved problems

It is normal to have some disagreements in a relationship. And it’s normal to have some issues that you need to work on.

But once sorry is said and the hurtful behavior stops, it’s time to move on.

I’ll be the first to admit that this is hard to do. When something really hurts or shocks you, it’s not easy to just forgive, forget and move on.

And it’s very easy to bring up the same issues over and over again…

But if you choose to stay together, you have to let go of the hurt they caused you in the past. If you can’t let it go, maybe it’s time to let go of the relationship…

5) Trying to give each other an edge

Relationships are not a competition. There is no winner or loser in any situation – and if you start seeing things that way, things can go downhill very quickly!

When you date someone, you should be compassionate and supportive. You must be their confidante and listening ear, and not their competitor.

When they say they’re tired and say, “Try to live a day in my life, then you really know what being tired means!” – that’s not very supportive.

Likewise, if they were having a bad day (and you were too), saying, “My day was much worse than yours, I had…” – that’s not a very compassionate response.

Doing this now will probably hurt your relationship more than you think.

So keep in mind that it is not a competition. You can both be tired and have bad days.

Understanding how they feel and then being open about your day (without comparing it to yours) will make your relationship so much stronger than if you test them all the time!

6) Play games

Remember when I said relationships aren’t a competition? Well, it’s not a game either!

So many people play games in relationships. Some do it deliberately. Others do it without even realizing it. Either way, the impact is still the same.

Like if you texted your friend and it takes them ten minutes to reply. You start with 20 minutes. It takes 40 minutes… That’s a game you (or both of you!) play.

Or when you want to go out with him on Saturday, but you want him to miss you and chase you – and you say you can’t make it. That’s a different game.

The truth is, playing mind games with your partner won’t lead you to a stronger, healthier relationship. And I hate to break it to you, but… these games never work!

If you want to talk to them and spend time together, doing just that will make your relationship stronger. Don’t pretend you don’t…

7) Being tit for tat

“You don’t do (this), so I’m not going to do (that).”

“I would do (this) if you did (that) for me.”

Have you ever heard yourself say these things? If so, you’re in for a treat! This means that you only do something for your partner if he or she also does it for you.

And I totally get it! I’ve dated people that made me feel bitter because things weren’t equal. But if you want to have a strong relationship, you can’t think like that.

You have to understand that everyone is different and that we are all allowed to have different boundaries. Just because they won’t do anything for you doesn’t mean you can’t do the same for them.

If you’re so unhappy about them not doing it, you need to discuss how it makes you feel and come to a compromise.

If a compromise can’t be reached, you need to let it go or (to be honest) break up!

8) Staying indoors instead of going out

Sometimes there’s nothing better than curling up on the couch, ordering a takeaway and watching a good movie with your significant other!

But it is not good to stay at home with your partner all the time. Tea experts Whoever says dating keeps a relationship alive is right!

I made a habit of letting this be the only quality time I spent with a partner – and it wasn’t good for the relationship.

When you physically leave the house and do something together, you create new experiences and fresh memories.

You have the chance to really talk, connect and stare into each other’s eyes (also important in relationships!).

I know it’s easy to stick to what you know and order that takeout when you’ve had a long week. But if you choose to do something different, even a cheap meal out of hand or a long walk in the park, your bond will become so much stronger.

9) Getting stuck in ‘boring’ routines

Once, when I was stuck in a boring routine in a relationship, I remember thinking to myself, “Is this it? Is this how life will be forever?”.

And I wasn’t thinking those thoughts in a good way! I thought so because we were stuck in a boring, same old, same old routine every day.

Some routines are good. Like eating together at the table every evening, without a telephone or TV. Or if you go on a date somewhere else (take turns booking) at least once a month.

Other routines are not, such as staying indoors and ordering takeout every Saturday. Or watch TV together in silence every weekend. And scrolling on your phone every night before you fall asleep…

Everyone likes a bit of home comfort. But there is a difference between being relaxed and interacting with each other stuck in a routine that’s not good for your relationship. And if you want to be stronger together, it’s time to change these things a little!

Final thoughts

A relationship is only as strong as you make it.

You have to make a conscious effort to make things work. You need to work on your traumas and triggers. And you have to learn to trust, open up and dive into the relationship with both feet!

I know these things aren’t easy. But it’s the only way to build a strong, sincere relationship with someone.

So where do you start? It takes two to tango. You can’t change your habits if they don’t.

If you want to be stronger together, talk about it with your significant other. Then you can both agree on which habits you want to change and which habits you want to start.

Then you can start building a stronger, more meaningful relationship that will truly make you happy!

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