Are you a worry-wart?
Do you wake up in the morning and think, “Oh f*ck, how can I get better?” or “What am I doing wrong with my life?”
Well, it’s time to get rid of all that noise in your head if you want inner peace.
Start by unsubscribing from these 10 commonly accepted societal misconceptions.
Most of them are BS and if you continue to believe in them, you will never achieve inner peace.
1) “You have to be selfless to be good.”
Do you find it annoying when you say ‘no’ to something?
Does it break your heart to ignore a beggar or cancel a call from a sales agent?
Do you constantly feel like you are never good enough, kind enough, or generous enough?
This constant feeling of guilt will not only exhaust you, it can also prevent you from living a peaceful life!
I’m sure you’ve had sleepless nights thinking, “Should I have said yes?”
Look, it’s not your job to make others happy.
It’s encouraged, yes. But if for some reason you can’t give it your all, that doesn’t make you a bad person.
Here’s a reminder: YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON, even if you’re not Santa Claus or Mother Teresa.
So let go of that guilt right now. It doesn’t do you any good.
2) “Idleness is the enemy of the soul.”
The Bible says, “sloth is the enemy of the soul.”
And this same feeling echoes to this day.
Lifestyle and financial gurus encourage us to “go big or go home,” to “work hard,” and “always give it everything you’ve got!”
No wonder we’re all exhausted.
This social pressure Always DOING something is one of the main reasons why we are anxious and depressed.
How many successful people always want more? Too many.
How many “failures” people feel bad because they took a break? Too many.
We don’t always have to be busy pursuing something.
In fact, we don’t always have to be productive.
Every now and then we can just sit under an apple tree and watch the birds chatting about their day.
3) “Winners never give up, quitters never win.”
Why do we equate quitting with losing?
There are so many cases where quitting is the wisest thing to do.
If a job is making you miserable, definitely quit!
If someone ruins your inner peace (no matter how hard you try to make things work), end the good relationship!
If an exercise program makes you hate working out… throw it away and find another program you enjoy more.
We don’t have to suffer just to prove to ourselves that we know how to persevere.
If I didn’t leave my first job just to show how much of a “winner” I am, I would remain stressed and unhappy.
If I hadn’t broken up with my verbally abusive ex, my self-esteem would never have been restored.
My point is simple: sometimes you have to quit to win.
So if there is something you wanted to give up to achieve inner peace, do it now to save yourself.
4) “Your dreams must be big to be valid.”
Tony Robbins said, “Most people fail in life because they worry about the little things.”
I find this laughable.
This kind of pushy, go-big-or-go-home mentality may work for some people, but it can leave many of us stressed and miserable.
And yes, the world would be in danger if everyone only did the IMPORTANT things. Imagine if everyone wanted to start a business. What kind of world would that be?
Anyway, what’s so wrong with simple dreams?
What’s wrong with wanting to stay regular? With simple hobbies and driving a simple car?
You are free to have ‘small’ dreams!
You are free to live a simple, happy life.
Don’t be pressured to boost your life just to impress others.
5) “Life after 40 goes downhill.”
Many people think that forty is the deadline.
We are willing to kill or be killed just to own a house, find the perfect partner, and have children before we go 4-0.
We think that if we are not a “success” by the age of forty, we will remain a “loser” until our dying day.
But I realize this is a lot of BS.
Everyone has their own timeline!
Some become successful at 21, but lose everything at 35.
And many people only became successful after the age of forty.
And yes, some become ultra-rich at 25 and die at 26.
The older I get, the more I realize that we place too many expectations (and limitations) on ourselves based on our age.
And this must go away if we want to live a calm and peaceful life.
6) “True love is unconditional.”
As my favorite therapist Todd Baratz said: “Unconditional love in a mature partnership is not love. It’s a rescue mission.”
When we enter into a partnership or friendship, we have an unwritten list of non-negotiables that we want fulfilled. We also set limitations; they are extremely important!
And if they can’t fulfill their part of the partnership, we’re free to go.
Why is this necessary for inner peace?
Well, it’s simply impossible to achieve inner peace if we’re always dealing with toxic relationships!
All the time imagine yourself questioning yourself, analyzing, negotiating, guiding, communicating, rethinking, rebuilding your relationship.
Look, unless they’re your kids, relationships should be conditional.
So if someone has given you bad behavior and it’s already driving you crazy, you’re not a terrible person to let go.
7) “You either grow or stagnate.”
Modern society wants us to continue to grow and evolve and become ‘the best versions of ourselves’.
But the kind of growth they are talking about is external growth.
They want us to earn more, move more, learn more, meet more people, travel to more places, pursue more goals…
Always more, more, more!
This will make us unhappy forever.
We always feel like something is missing… and that there’s something wrong with us when we’re just happy with the way things are.
Listen, sitting around and being content doesn’t mean you’re stagnant.
It could actually mean that you are growing carrots.
8) “In life you have to eat or be eaten.”
If you think the world is a hard place and people are out to get you, you will be anxious forever.
You will always ask questions of the people around you, even your closest friends and family.
You’ll wonder, “Are they just using me?” or “How can I be sure I won’t be betrayed?”
With this kind of thinking, you will also worry about your future. You will be haunted by questions like, “How can I be sure I won’t die alone?”
Your mind will never be at ease.
To have inner peace, you must trust that the majority of people are good. That many of them are rooting for you and supporting you.
Above all, you have to trust yourself that you can handle whatever life throws at you. And believe it with all your heart.
9) “It is your duty to teach others how to treat you.”
There are people who don’t know how to be good. After all, we are all busy working.
So yes, we should probably be patient with them and then teach them how to be better people – at least at first.
But if things remain the same, feel free to close the door on it.
While it is good to have hope in the goodness of others – that they just need a little understanding and guidance – some are simply impossible to teach.
Look, there are 8 billion people in the world right now.
Stop trying so hard.
You deserve better people in your life.
10) “You can have it all.”
“Anything is possible if you try hard enough,” they say.
And ugh, this puts pressure on us.
After all, if we don’t achieve the things we want, that can only mean we’re not trying hard enough, right?
The truth is that we can’t have everything.
And the moment we become desperate to have it all, our mental health will suffer.
If you want to achieve true inner peace, learn to live with the fact that even if you work hard, you may not become the best and greatest.
And that’s okay.
And that’s not your fault.
Life is full of compromises and compromises.
Chances are you won’t have it all, at least not at once (if you’re lucky).
You must embrace this basic fact of life to achieve true inner peace.
Society has been hard on us.
And because of that we are hard on ourselves.
To achieve true inner peace, we must be able to rethink and unlearn what society has fed us – to let it all go and start over.
And once that’s done, we have to come up with our own definition of success and happiness – to have our own definition of what it really means to be good, and what it really means to have a good life.
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