When someone has that Negative self image, they lack confidence in who they are and what they can do. And it can sometimes mean tolerating bad behavior from others that you don’t deserve.
Does that sound like you?
The thing about self-esteem is that it is not a permanent state, it fluctuates throughout life depending on our experiences and what is happening in our lives.
If you’re currently suffering from low self-esteem, the good news is that you can improve it.
But before you can improve anything, you need to confirm that there is a problem.
So do you really have a lack of self-esteem?
If you tolerate these six behaviors from people in your life, chances are you will.
1) They are dismissive of your thoughts and ideas
Do you ever notice that people around you often dismiss or ignore your ideas?
When you share your thoughts or ideas, at work, with friends, or even at home, they don’t get much time or attention, leaving you feeling unexpected and unimportant.
Ignoring someone’s feelings is a form of emotional invalidation and tolerating them suggests that you don’t value your own thoughts and ideas enough to ensure they are heard.
It is a classic indication of low self-esteem. But your ideas are valuable, so it’s time to stand up for yourself and call people out if they fire you.
2) They talk down to you
Remember when adults often talked down to you as a child?
As adults, it was clear that they had the power and authority, and you did not.
Do you still experience that in some of your adult relationships today?
Some people still treat you like a child as if they don’t believe you can understand them in any other way. They may explain things in a condescending way that makes you feel small.
Disparaging behavior like this is designed to make you feel small and insignificant.
If you tolerate being talked down to, it indicates that you have a lack of self-esteem.
The point is, it’s never acceptable for someone to make you feel small, so it’s time you put an end to that.
3) They interrupt you constantly
I worked with a man who had a terrible habit of interrupting and talking over me. Most frustrating of all was that he didn’t seem to do it to anyone else on our team.
Can you identify with this?
It’s like you just say something and they step in and take over the conversation. It makes it difficult for you to get your point across and often makes you feel unheard.
It is hard to handle is interrupted because it requires you to be assertive, which is not easy for people who do not have confidence in themselves and their abilities.
If you notice this happening often and you haven’t paid attention to it yet, this is a clear indication that it’s time to start working on your self-esteem. Your opinion is valuable and deserves to be heard.
4) They cross your boundaries
How do you ensure that others treat you well?
The importance of personal boundaries has been well documented in recent years and it is a great way to communicate to others what you are willing to accept and, more importantly, what you simply will not accept.
There’s just one small problem: what happens if you set a boundary and someone crosses it?
Is this something that happens to you?
Your sense of self-worth and the boundaries you set for yourself are closely related. In general, the higher your self-esteem, the clearer your boundaries are, as outlined by Forbes.
And on the contrary, if you allow people to constantly cross your boundaries, it is a sign that you lack self-confidence.
You have to be willing to push back and say no when people switch; that’s the only way to ensure your boundaries are effective.
5) They are disrespectful to you
At a time in my life when my self-esteem was at an all-time low, I had a “friend” who was constantly disrespectful to me.
And I tolerated it because at the time I didn’t think I deserved better.
Have you experienced this?
This might look like someone constantly being late, canceling plans at the last minute, showing up at your house unannounced, or calling you at 2 a.m. to give them a ride home. The list goes on.
Such actions can make you feel undervalued and disrespected.
There are so many ways people can disrespect you, but if you let it happen, it’s a sign that your self-esteem is lower than it should be and it’s time to start working on it.
It’s never okay for someone to be disrespectful to you and no matter what you think about yourself, it’s always okay to call out this type of behavior and put an end to it.
6) They take advantage of you
Do you ever feel like someone is taking advantage of you?
It’s like they’ve realized that you’ll do anything for them and instead of just appreciating that they have a good friend, they want to push it to see how far you’ll go for them.
I once lent my girlfriend a significant amount of money when she was short on rent. I didn’t have much money of my own, but she said she would pay me back when she got paid and I believed her.
Instead, she kept making excuses as to why she couldn’t pay. Meanwhile, I saw her enjoying partying and having fun. She certainly took advantage of my generosity.
If this is something you tolerate a lot, it’s time to realize that low self-esteem is really harming you.
You deserve better and you shouldn’t stand for anyone taking advantage of your good character.
The next time they want something from you, say no and see what happens.
How many of these behaviors do you tolerate?
If you’ve just realized that you’re allowing some of these behaviors and you have a lack of self-esteem, don’t panic.
There are many things you can do Start rebuilding your self-esteem.
Practicing assertiveness by not tolerating this behavior in the future will actually help you start building self-esteem.
This is a great first step towards greater self-esteem, so give it a try.
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