You know the people you meet at work, at university or at a party – and they immediately freak you out?
They do something and you immediately decide that this person is not your type of person. They cannot be trusted and certainly cannot be respected.
Well, there are just certain behaviors that can make you feel this way about someone. That means there are certain behaviors you should avoid if you don’t want people to think this about you!
Keep reading to learn the 11 behaviors that can cause someone to instantly lose respect for you – to the point where you may never get it back…
1) Taking credit for things you didn’t do
Imagine you are in a meeting. The boss congratulates a man on his hard work on a project. He accepts the compliment and tells the boss how hard he has worked.
The thing is, he didn’t work on that project at all. Someone else did it. He just demands credit for their work because he was given the opportunity to do it.
I don’t know about you, but I never respect people who do this! I appreciate it much more when they correct the boss and instead give credit to the person who actually did the work.
Although you may think you can get away with it if you do this, that’s probably not the case. Chances are good that someone will know the truth.
There is an even greater chance that your boss will eventually find out the truth. And they probably won’t be happy that you’re lying. They won’t have much respect for you either…
2) Changing your mind because someone else changed your mind
I hate it when people do this! They think and believe one thing at a time. In fact, they are adamant about it! Then someone else changes their mind, so they immediately change theirs too.
Actually changing your mind is a good thing. It’s actually quite respectable to stand up, admit you were wrong and say you don’t believe in that anymore.
But if you do it just because someone else does—especially if the person who changed your mind is your lover, teacher, boss, or someone you’re trying to impress—you’re probably not going to impress anyone.
You’ll just lose the respect of the people who can see exactly what you’re doing!
3) Being unfaithful to your partner
There is no excuse for cheating and infidelity. I knew a guy in college once and we were all good friends with him. We always supported him when he was flirting with our classmates.
Until his girlfriend came to visit him unexpectedly one weekend and we realized he had been cheating on her all along…
People are unfaithful in relationships for many different reasons. And (sadly) it’s becoming increasingly common to be cheated on at some point in your life.
But that doesn’t mean it’s respectable behavior. And if someone finds out that you have been unfaithful to your partner, he or she will likely lose whatever respect he or she had for you.
4) Criticizing someone “as a joke”
Everyone has a different sense of humor, but most people love a good joke or sarcastic comment!
But you can take a joke too far if you’re not careful. That is, if you start criticizing their personality, job, or appearance for no real reason. Or when you start playing on someone’s insecurities…
I’m An old boss of mine once did this. He was always joking and trying to make us laugh. Until he criticized someone’s weight… He made a “joke” about the fact that they were on a diet (something they had told him in casual conversation).
The joke went down like a lead balloon. And most people in the office struggled to maintain the respect they had for him afterward.
5) Taking advantage of someone else
Another behavior that will definitely make you uncomfortable is taking advantage of someone else. No one finds this behavior attractive or enticing.
It actually makes them very suspicious of you. Because if you abuse this person, what prevents you from abusing him or her too?
An old colleague of mine once dated a woman because she had a car and he didn’t. He was pretty open about the fact that he was only with her because she took him everywhere and he needed her.
It was like he was looking forward to telling us – like he thought he looked cool. While it really didn’t happen…
6) Treating your parents/grandparents poorly
If there’s one thing high school movies have taught us, it’s that mistreating your parents or grandparents isn’t nice!
There’s nothing cool about mocking your parents or disrespecting them. If you do this in public or in front of your friends, people will not respect you for it.
Even if you do it one at a time and someone you know finds out, he or she probably won’t like it. Because any decent person knows that it’s not cool to be rude to your family or embarrass yourself in front of them.
7) Mocking someone who doesn’t have what you have
Speaking of high school movies, I think we’ve all seen the scenes where a kid with everything bullies a kid without anything.
And we all know that these people are not the most loved – or the ones who end up being the “hero”!
In real life, people are not so clear about their bullying. They may look someone up and down, stare at their shoes for too long, gossip behind their back, or chuckle when they think they’re not looking.
But the point is, someone might be watching. And whoever you’re gossiping to might not appreciate you mocking someone for materialistic reasons…
8) Disappear when people need you
Some friends are really there for you. When things are going well in your life, they are on the other end of the line. And when things feel like they’re falling apart, you’ll still get a text from them and an offer to meet up.
But some friends aren’t like that at all. If you feel good and happy, they are all for it. They love to meet in a group for a fun time.
But when times get tough, they disappear. They don’t answer your calls, respond to your text messages, or even meet you when you ask.
Everyone is busy with their own life sometimes. But you still have to be there for your friends when they need you.
If you always step back and let someone else deal with a friend in crisis, people may secretly disrespect you…
9) Only talk about yourself
We all like to talk about ourselves. That’s why asking questions is the best way to get someone to like you right away!
But the thing is, if you’re the one being asked all the questions, and all you do is answer, it doesn’t make you very likable.
I had a friend in college who only talked about herself. You met her for coffee, and she talked about her own life the whole time.
She would never ask you a question or be interested in what you had to say. I respected her as a person, but not so much as a friend.
10) Breaking your promises
Another quick way to lose someone’s respect is to… break your promises to them. If you say you’re going to do something, you really have to do it.
Even if you apologize or ask for a “rain check,” people will lose trust in you pretty quickly if you cancel on them too often.
Suppose you tell your partner that you will be home in time to drop him or her off at the airport. If you go out late drinking with your friends and don’t show up at their house when you were supposed to, this isn’t a very respectable thing to do.
If you apologize for it but do it again, they will probably never respect what you say again. Or do you trust…
The same rules apply at work, at university, with your friends, while dating and basically anytime else. If you say you’re going to text, call, or lend a hand, you have to do it if you want people to respect you.
11) Talking condescendingly to staff members
It doesn’t matter whether it’s in the supermarket, the theater or a restaurant – as long as you do it talk to the staff whoever works there, people will immediately lose respect for you!
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of their profession. Thinking that someone is “less” than you because you are the customer and they work there is not a good look.
And making it clear that you don’t care about them (by being rude, criticizing their uniform, or behaving properly) is not something a decent person would do.
It’s actually quite easy to gain the respect of others. All you really need to do is be a decent human being, stand up for others, and treat people with compassion. And of course, avoid this behavior at all costs!
If you do both of these things, you’ll probably find that people respect you a lot more for it. And you’ll likely gain more genuine friendships and a more fulfilling career as a result.
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