If a man exhibits these twelve behaviors, he probably sees you as his backup plan

Dating is a numbers game: the more people we meet, the better our chances of getting into a relationship.

However, most of us would like to meet 'the one'. And while we're looking for the love of our lives, most of us tend to have a backup plan or a “second choice.”

And it may be true that we are also someone's backup plan.

In this article we take a closer look at the behavior that shows that a man you are seeing does not take you seriously.

So if a man exhibits these twelve behaviors, he probably sees you as his backup plan.

1) He often cancels plans with you

We can all experience flakiness from time to time, but it's a warning sign if it happens often.

If he has made this behavior a habit, it will continue unless you stop him.

So if he takes a long time to say yes when you ask him out, you might be his backup plan.

If you discover that he has a tendency to cancel at the last minute, it could be a sign that he isn't taking you very seriously.

2) He's on the phone during your dates

If someone is always on the phone, especially when you're sharing a special moment together, it's a sign that they have attachment issues.

It can make them uncomfortable to get closer to others, so they hide in their phones.

People who don't want to pay attention to you will try to avoid interaction as much as possible. They will be on their phone, reading or something else.

If it happens to you, don't ignore it. You deserve to be someone's priority, not just a backup plan.

A man who is always on the phone when you are with you should not be your first choice either.

3) His friends don't know who you are

If you've been dating someone for a while and he hasn't introduced you to anyone in his close circle of friends or family… that's a red flag.

He may not be willing to commit. Worse, if he introduced you as a friend or acquaintance, he's trying to avoid committing to you.

Another red flag is if he doesn't tell you about his loved ones. He may be trying to keep you at a distance by doing this, and it's a sign that he's not ready to start a serious relationship.

He may not be doing it consciously, but the way he treats you should be enough evidence to choose: is he also your backup plan, or do you want true love?

4) He laughs at your goals

Well, maybe he doesn't laugh at them right away.

But if, for example, you've always dreamed of traveling to Greece, he might say it's a stupid idea and give you his own reason for it.

Sometimes, even when he tries to seem interested, you may realize he's faking it. This may be hard to process, but your dreams may not benefit him… and that's why he doesn't care.

Unfortunately, if he doesn't show genuine interest in your dreams, he doesn't really care about you either. You're just his backup plan.

5) It's flaky

There are many ways to be flaky, if you choose to do so.

It's not just about canceling at the last minute: maybe he said he'd call and he doesn't, or maybe it's quiet for a whole day.

Ghosting or being inconsistent with someone should not be taken lightly.

This is a huge red flag, and it can also affect your self-esteem. If he can't show up when you agree, or if he makes you feel like you don't matter, that's a sign that he has little interest in you.

6) He doesn't bark or bite

So he talks a lot, says the sweetest things and responds to all your Insta stories, etc. But when it comes to him being there for you, you can't count on him.

This applies to everything: you want to see each other more often, make plans and dream about a future together.

But when the time comes to make it a reality, it just doesn't happen, and that's because he has a million excuses.

Guys who shower you with compliments and attention but don't show up when you really need them are just playing with you.

So if you tell him that his behavior is hurting you, and he doesn't change it, then it's not worth it. You don't have time to sit around waiting for someone who won't try to correct their misdeeds.

7) He didn't pay much attention to you at first

When you started dating, things weren't terrible, but maybe he wasn't paying that much attention to you, and you had to try to get a date with him or impress him somehow.

It could be a red flag if he's suddenly all over you.

This may be more subtle than other signals, but that doesn't mean it's any less critical.

Maybe he initially saw a girl he was more interested in, and when the girl didn't respond, he fell into his backup plan: you.

8) You feel like he's going to ghost you

Even though he is a perfect man, kind, smart and sensitive, he has flaws. We all do. Love can blind you, but no one is perfect.

If you feel like he's going missing, if you bring up a problem or point out his shortcoming, pay attention to it. Your intuition is trying to tell you something.

He won't build a relationship with you if you aren't his priority. And we tend to listen to those we love when they are important to us.

Try to talk to him about something, especially if it makes you feel bad. You are important to him if he stays and wants to handle things.

If he doesn't recognize the problem and isn't open to talking about it, it's time to leave, especially if you're looking for a serious relationship.

9) He always makes last minute plans

The bad thing about being a backup plan for someone is that they know you will are always available to them.

This is especially true if you cancel your other plans to see them as soon as they call or text you.

So if he's not serious about you, he'll call you just when his “priority” girl cancels on him. He knows he has you as a backup plan if he wants to go out.

In this case, the best thing you can do is not play this game and appreciate your own time.

Act in your best interest and make sure he also knows the value of your time and attention.

10) He's not there on birthdays or holidays

He doesn't call or make plans with you on holidays or special occasions. And every time you reference it, he plays dumb or changes the subject.

Worse still, he makes plans with you and abandons them at the last minute with the first excuse he can think of. Guess what: he's with his family or someone else.

Don't let him crush you self-respect like that.

11) He is not responsible

If he doesn't share any routine with you, you're probably his backup plan. For example, you want to take him for a walk or go to the gym together, but he refuses.

The same thing happens with everything else: you want to join a dance class or a book club, but he doesn't seem to like any of those things.

The reason for that is because he doesn't want to be too committed and involved in your relationship, and he doesn't want you to feel like it's serious either.

Don't waste your time on someone like that.

12) He doesn't make plans for the future

If you're trying to be in a committed relationship, talking about the future is essential.

It is a step that everyone takes. You need to make sure that you are both on the same page and want similar things in life.

When you are in a committed relationship, you need to be able to talk about serious things and make joint decisions.

If he refuses to do that because it “puts pressure” on him, end it.

You don't have to be with someone who doesn't see a future with you; maybe he's not ready yet. In any case, it's not your fault.

To sum up

What you do next is up to you.

Do you want to see someone who treats you as a backup plan, or you too prefer to stay alone but be open to people who consider you their priority?

If you're not looking for something serious, feel free to have an affair: have fun!

But if your priorities differ, you must act in your best interest. Because if he sees you as his backup plan, you won't change his mind.

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