In the modern dating world, there is a lot of pretending when it comes to the sincerity of feelings.
Luckily for you, you can still use a few ways to find out if someone really likes you…
Or is just putting on a show (probably just to get in your pants.)
It all comes down to actions, ladies (and gentlemen).
A man can say all the right things and sweet talk his way into your affection, but without backing it up, it’s all talk and no action.
But if a guy really likes you, let me tell you now: it’s a whole different story.
You are not left with doubts or questions.
Once you are aware of the eight behaviors below, you can tell with certainty whether or not he is as interested and committed as he seems.
1) He really listens
We place a lot of emphasis on how important communication is in any relationship; romantic or otherwise.
But communication is a two-way street.
You can talk to someone until the cows come home, but if they don’t really bother to listen to you, or try to understand what you’re saying, how much communication is actually happening?
This is where your everyday, everyday guy differs from someone who is genuinely interested in you.
Active listening is a clear sign of genuine interest, which usually involves the following signals:
- Listen attentively
- Ask open questions
- Paraphrasing refers back to the speaker
- Maintain eye contact
- Confirmation of body language, such as nodding
- Don’t interrupt or judge prematurely
If the man in question discusses the above in conversation with you, it shows that he appreciates your words and thoughts, and that he has a seasoned conversation partner.
What else do you want!
A less interested person will nod along to your stories while eagerly thinking about what we’re going to eat, without really taking it in.
But a man who really loves you?
He pays attention to the little details, makes a mental note of them, and brings them up later to show his interest in your world.
Take that as a good sign that he is both an emotionally intelligent and thoughtful person, and that he is genuinely interested in you.
2) Is included in his future planning
A few years ago I dated someone I was head over heels in love with. He seemed to have his whole life in order and exuded charm and class wherever he went.
He regaled me with stories about grand mansions and sleek sports cars and summer getaways along the Amalfi Coast.
It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t mentioned anywhere in this fairytale future…
Not even as a side character.
A man who truly loves you will propose to you in that future.
He may look high and aim for the stars, but he will have his hand stretched out ready to take you into the sky.
Whether it’s slightly unrealistic but still dreamy visions, or boring necessities like budgeting and taxes, a man who shares his future plans and includes you shows how important you are to him.
3) You meet his inner circle
No mistresses or secret lovers here.
On the contrary, if he includes you in his inner circle and you are invited to meet his friends, his family, his dog, it is a sign that he trusts you and wants you to be part of his life.
You wouldn’t want your parents to meet just anyone right now, right?
Therefore, it is a good indication of his commitment if he wants you to meet his loved ones.
4) He is never too busy for you
We’re all busy.
We have jobs, friends, hobbies, and a host of other obligations competing for our attention.
But if a guy really likes you, he will make you a priority and make sure he makes time for you.
Even if he’s busy, he’ll send you a text letting you know. And he’ll also have no problem putting down his phone to free up a whole day for you.
These gestures (when done consistently) show how he constantly has you in the back of his mind and values your relationship enough to take time out of his schedule.
5) Your interests are his interests
Okay – he doesn’t have to suddenly fall in love with knitting. Golden cloud spots. Or Tai Chi (whatever your passion is.)
We all have our own unique hobbies and passions.
But if a guy really likes you, he’ll show interest in yours = even if that’s not his thing.
By showing and trying these things, he shows that he values the things that make you happy and wants to share them with you.
Let’s be honest: how many friends would normally come to a pottery class on the weekend while football is in progress?
By showing interest in your hobbies and passions, he’s showing interest in you – which sounds like genuine interest to me!
6) You can count on his support
When you need reassurance and support, he is:
- There in an instant as your rock, anchor, support and cheerleader. He celebrates your victories and picks you up when you slip or fall.
- Grinning from the sidelines and telling you that you were no good in the first place, before promptly going back to watching TV.
For your sake, I really hope it’s A!
Because this kind of unequivocal emotional support shows that he cares deeply about you.
It shows that he is invested in your well-being and wants to help you navigate life’s ups and downs in any way he can.
This level of support also does not come from a casual interest, but is a clear sign of genuine affection and care.
7) Boundaries are always respected
There are few things worse than working on yourself and learning how to effectively set your boundaries, and then still having someone overstep your boundaries…
Because respecting boundaries is a crucial part of any relationship.
If a man really likes you, pushing your boundaries is out of the question.
He will understand and respect your need for personal space and time, without ever making you feel guilty about it.
Whether it’s understanding when you need some time for yourself or not forcing you to do something you’re not comfortable with, respecting your boundaries shows that he values your feelings and your individuality.
It’s a sign that he cares about your comfort and well-being, and clearly indicates that he really loves you.
8) Consistency in behavior
Ultimately, all these behaviors are wonderful to experience…
But they don’t count for much if they only happen once.
If a man truly loves you, he will demonstrate love and respect for you in every interaction – consistently.
Forget the feeling that one moment you mean nothing to him, and the next moment you’re his princess.
Instead, he will demonstrate the steadfast nature of his kindness and the dependence on his emotional support.
He will never make you feel like you have to work to earn his love, nor will he punish you for foolish mistakes or his own temper.
No – a man who is genuinely interested in you will show this unwavering commitment and never let you doubt his affection.
So if he shows you this consistently level of consistencytrust him.
There is no doubt that he really loves you.
Authentic love in the real world
I know that nowadays it is more difficult to distinguish between real love and false interest.
Cheats fly under the radar and hide their behavior online, and social media launches campaign after campaign on why your friend is a manipulator, or how to manipulate him…
But take a moment to step out of this web and remind yourself that honest and loving individuals still exist.
You may have to kiss a few toads, but eventually you will meet a prince/princess who will show their genuine interest in you in all the tender ways mentioned above.
Don’t forget to look for authenticity when you prepare to dive into the dating world. It’s hard there, so don’t get distracted by grand gestures or extravagant displays of affection.
Instead, remember that consistent patterns of care, respect, and understanding determine how much someone truly loves you, and it’s the people who exhibit these qualities that make perfect partners.
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