You have finally met the “perfect” man.
He is charming, funny, handsome and to your surprise he has the same taste in music as you.
You couldn’t be happier.
But is he in it for the long haul (even when times get tough)?
This is what it is about.
You will never really know what your partner is thinking or feeling.
That would be too easy.
And men, well, they can be puzzling. However, some science-based clues can give you a hint about how he feels deep down.
With that in mind, here are seven signs that he will have your back through thick and thin, according to psychology.
How many do you recognize?
1) You + him = “we”
You don’t know exactly when it happened, but one day (out of nowhere) ‘you’ became ‘we’.
- Do “we” want to watch Barbie or Oppenheimer tonight?
- Sorry, “we” cannot be there tonight.
- “We’ll let you know.
- Should ‘we’ leave now?
You get the idea.
And according to psychologists, a simple pronoun change can make all the difference.
In fact, studies have shown that the use of ‘we’ (rather than separate statements such as you, I or I) represents commitment, intimacy and solidarity.
It is also closely linked to marital satisfaction.
Simply put: you are a close (we-ness) unit. And that’s because he imagines a future with you.
2) He involves you in future plans
Do you regularly daydream about the patter of little feet? Perhaps you have already discussed your dream home together.
He simply includes you in upcoming travel or dinner plans (without thinking about it).
This is what it is about.
Experts from Harvard say that there is a simple (but scientific) reason why we daydream about the future with our partners.
And it all has to do with our biology.
Let me explain.
When we are in love, our body undergoes a series of chemical changes.
A love cocktail of spells.
First, it can increase your cortisol (a stress hormone) level. Something that can suppress your immune system.
Second, it can increase dopamine (linked to pleasure) and serotonin (sexual desire).
Ultimately, this leads to the release of oxytocin. A powerful ‘love hormone’ associated with trust, sexual arousal and relationship building.
In other words, he is madly in love.
In fact, he’s so in love that he’s (literally) addicted to you.
3) He is ‘addicted’ to spending time with you
What do poets, philosophers, musicians and psychologists all have in common?
Well, they all agree that love and addiction have many similarities.
But this goes beyond artistic liberties.
It’s backed by science!
This Study from 2016 found that love-related changes in the brain mimic those of drug addiction.
According to expertsthese neurochemical changes can trigger feelings of euphoria, obsessiveness, dependency, and “intense focused attention.”
Furthermore, this “addiction” literally makes them “crave emotional connection” with the person they love.
Ultimately they get attached (and a little obsessed).
But if someone really wants to stick around through thick and thin (and make time for you), it takes more than just neurobiology.
They should also enjoy your company.
Fortunately for you…
4) He’s your biggest fan (even if you’re not)
Does your friend constantly brag about you and your achievements? Maybe he can’t resist cheering you up when you’re feeling down?
Maybe he just makes you feel special, even at your worst.
Well, psychologists suggest that this behavior indicates that your partner is willing to stay.
You heard right.
According to psychologistsCouples who see their partner in a “positive light” are more likely to stay together.
For example, this study found that partners who idealized each other remained strong “even in the face of conflict and doubt.”
Some experts call this behavior “to love blindly.”
5) He just “gets you” (and your little quirks)
Now I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, but I think we can all agree that we want to find someone who just gets us.
Not only that.
But a partner who embraces every part of us (even our flaws) with compassion and empathy.
This is what it is about.
Research shows that empathy plays a major role in maintaining a healthy relationship.
And I don’t just mean empathy for negative emotions, but also for positive ones.
Moreover, the study found that empathy for positive experiences yielded even greater benefits for couples in general.
Why is this relevant?
Well, someone with high emotional intelligence is more likely to understand and empathize with your emotions.
This allows them to provide support in challenging times and celebrate your successes.
Ultimately, it shows real endurance.
6) Your victories are his too
Does your partner actively support you and your goals?
Good, experts say this could be the secret to a long-lasting marriage.
Let me explain.
In the article, the author emphasizes the importance of ‘cultivating passion’.
In other words, be committed, supportive, and committed to your partner by providing validation.
They even claim that this positive approach is “vital to the longevity of a relationship.”
By this they mean that he recognizes your successes (or good news) with supportive and cheerful statements.
Ultimately, this supportive behavior indicates a willingness to stand by you through thick and thin.
One way he does this is by actively listening to you.
6) He actively listens to you
There’s a lot to be said about being physically present, but what about mentally?
Active listening is an often underused communication skill.
Not only does it show respect, but it also proves that someone is interested and present for what you have to say.
In a nutshell, it’s when someone really listens and not just listens to you.
After all, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how important communication is for a long-term relationship.
And recognized experts.
How do you know that someone is actively listening?
It’s actually very simple.
There is a long list of verbal and non-verbal cues to look out for.
Eye contact, paraphrasing, empathy and appropriate facial expressions… just to name a few.
But most of all it’s about being engaged. Not to mention present.
7) You are his rock
Finally, he values your opinion. That is why he comes to you for advice (large and small).
He trusts and respects you.
Now I don’t know anything about you. But I can’t think of any better proof that he’s in it for the long haul than him sharing his deepest, darkest secrets with you.
Especially when you consider that (according to research) Men tend to hide their feelings more than women.
But not this man.
When he sees you, his pain (literally) melts away – and for good reason.
Psychologists found that the sight of a romantic partner can reduce physical pain. Again, this is due to a chemical reaction in the brain caused by love.
Those same neurochemicals that promote closeness, involvement, and commitment activate the reward system and affect processing areas of the brain.
This includes the bilateral caudate nucleus and the right ventral tegmental area. And ultimately provide him with a safe (comforting) space.
What does this all mean for your relationship?
Well, if you’re in doubt, these seven signs suggest that your man will stand by you through thick and thin.
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