8 little habits that make someone really nice

When I first heard that Oxford referred to “rizz” as word of the year 2023I rolled my eyes.

A shortened version of charisma, Rizz scratches my ear the wrong way. It lacks musicality.

However, I thought about it more and realized that the very fact that people use the word shows how much we care about appearing attractive.

It is logical. The pandemic forced us to isolate ourselves, reassess our relationships and, in some cases, shrink our friendship circles.

We came away socially rusty and desperate to reconnect with others.

Charisma is in high demand – and becoming more and more magnetic makes people naturally attracted to you.

On that note, here are eight little habits that make someone truly likable.

Boosting your rizz is not as difficult as it seems at first glance.

1) Remember names

I’m the type of person who forgets a name as soon as he hears it.

I don’t know if my brain is missing a crucial memory component or if my occasional social anxiety is to blame, but I’m terrible with names.

I smile, I shake your hand, I tell you my name back, my thoughts go blank.

Don’t be like me.

A person’s name is an integral part of his identity.

Remembering and using names shows attention and respect, qualities that can help you win bonus points with new acquaintances.

Here’s a trick I’m going to use to get better at this name business in the future: repeat the name immediately in conversation.

So when someone tells me his or her name is Jennifer, I say, “Nice to meet you, Jennifer.”

Fast forward a few minutes and, “What do you do for work, Jennifer?”

Fingers crossed that this iteration works.

Forgetting Jennifer’s name and asking how it’s spelled to hide my incompetence wouldn’t bode well for me as a writer.

2) Active listening

You know what most of us really want?

To feel heard.

Truly likable people give you their full attention and make you feel like the center of the universe just by nodding along to whatever you’re rambling about.

It’s not even a superpower. All you have to do is look the speaker in the eye, smile occasionally, and ask relevant follow-up questions.

Instead of getting distracted by formulating a response in your head, stay in the moment.

And whatever you do, don’t interrupt.

That’s rough on so many levels.

3) Make an attempt to connect

In the same way, people want to feel like they matter.

There is a loneliness epidemic continues and it becomes increasingly difficult to forge connections with others.

That said, I discovered that you can find things in common even with someone who seems completely different from you.

People contain masses.

If you put a little effort into it, you’ll find that you and the strange stranger you met at a party share a love for musicals, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or unhinged memes that seem disturbing to everyone.

When I’m talking to someone I just met and don’t have a spark with, I usually fall back on these conversation topics:

  • Hobbies (asking someone what they like to do in their spare time seems safe enough)
  • The Marvel Cinematic Universe (it’s almost impossible not to have seen one by now)
  • Pets (if the person has a pet, they will probably talk about it in the near future)
  • Goals (I ask them what they want to achieve that year or what is on their bucket list)

And if I really have a connection with someone?

I follow up, usually via social media.

If the person tells me about a movie he or she loves that I haven’t seen yet, I watch it and then send them a DM to thank them for the recommendation.

When they tell me about a restaurant, I take a photo of the meal and share it with them.

This shows them that I appreciated our interaction.

It also makes them realize that I am indeed a pretty likable person.

4) Keep whining to a minimum

Speaking of connections, it’s certainly possible to connect with someone else based on something you both hate.

However, complaining usually doesn’t get you very far, so I would have to proceed with caution.

My best friend, my mom, my dog ​​– they’re the ones who aren’t bothered by my rants, who I vent to when I’m having a terrible day, or who I text to complain about an event I’m having. attend.

(The dog doesn’t have a phone, but mommy reads my texts to him when the situation calls for it.)

People I just met and casual acquaintances? Not so much.

At a family member’s wedding, I once sat next to an aunt whom I did not know very well.

I was looking forward to learning more about her, but didn’t get a chance. She complained all night.

Her seat was uncomfortable. The music was too loud. The food was not tasty enough. Her dress was too tight. The bathroom was too far.

Let’s just say I avoided her as much as possible, even if it meant making a fool of myself on the dance floor.

Whining about anything and everything causes you to radiate negativity.

Really likeable people would never do that.

5) Indulging in blunders

habits that make someone really nice

Everyone screws up.

When meet someone newthere’s a certain amount of awkwardness that comes with the territory.

Even if you’ve known someone for a while, you can still accidentally insult them or say something stupid.

If that happens, don’t bury your head in the sand.

Truly likable people admit their mistakes and admit when they are clumsy.

Flaws make you more recognizable – and responsibility is incredibly popular.

Furthermore, taking yourself too seriously usually works against you, making you appear pompous and uptight.

Which brings me to my next point.

6) Finding the humor

I met my best friend in college, our first long-term interaction was something of sitcom gold.

We had to sign up for a physical activity class, and we chose aerobics because it was taught by a famous gymnast.

I wasn’t particularly athletic. Turns out she wasn’t either.

I showed up to our first class and entered a huge gym full of flexible girls wearing tights and doing complicated warm-up moves.

I was wearing jeans and hungover, so I stopped dead on the rails.

I looked around and there was my future girlfriend, with a similarly shocked expression on her face.

“Would you like to grab a beer instead?” I asked her.

She nodded. We turned around, left and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon at a nearby bar.

(We also dropped class and signed up for basketball. The teacher wanted us to show up only sporadically. Score!)

Was our recipe difficult? Yes. Did we laugh about it? Sure.

Having a sense of humor greatly increases your likeability, especially if the humor comes out naturally.

In other words, don’t remember a bunch of jokes.

But be willing to laugh at yourself and try to focus on the lighter side of things, even in challenging circumstances.

You’ll become a people magnet in no time.

7) Do small acts of kindness

Offering help is another way to appear nice.

I don’t mean going out of your way to open the door for someone, or insisting on giving advice to someone who hasn’t asked for it.

Instead, perform small acts of kindness whenever you get the chance:

  • Compliment someone on their appearance, work, or other positive characteristic
  • Say “thank you” to express appreciation for the contributions of others
  • Offer to help someone who seems overwhelmed by a task
  • Randomly bring donuts or coffee to the office
  • If you notice that someone has been left out of a conversation, try to include them
  • Congratulate others on their achievements and celebrate their victories
  • Give words of encouragement when someone is facing a challenge

Being kind doesn’t cost a lot of money. It doesn’t take much time.

Yet it can make a big difference for someone.

Really sympathetic people know this, so they always have a kind word up their sleeve or a helping hand.

Follow in their footsteps.

8) Sharing passions

I’m obsessed with passionate people.

What if I meet someone new and they’re going to talk for 10 minutes about some strange passion that I’m not familiar with?

Wrestling. Dungeons and Dragons. The artistry of Hayao Miyazaki. Stamps.

It does not matter.

When I see how their passion lights up their eyes, I immediately like them more.

Especially if they are excited to share their knowledge and not condescending about my lack of expertise in this area.

When someone is passionate about a subject or activity, their enthusiasm is inspiring (and contagious!).

Moreover, passion comes from genuine interests.

When someone shares their passions with you, you’re likely to get to know their real, unpolished, unapologetic self.

As you move forward, open yourself to whatever makes your heart sing.

Don’t worry about cringing anymore.

The right people will come to you.

Final thoughts

Being nice isn’t an exact science, but these little habits can help you win friends and influence people.

(Or at least don’t push others away.)

Above all, stay true to who you are.

Nothing is as irresistible as authenticity.

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