Some people just have a knack for reading the room. In fact, they are so good at it that it seems like they are psychic.
It's their superpower!
But since we are in the real world (and not the Marvel cinematic universe), what is their secret?
We've all heard about IQ, but what about EQ?
I'm talking about emotional intelligence here.
That's right, you're connected for your entire life!
Intelligence is not just about good grades or test results. There are multiple ways to measure it, including perceiving, understanding, and controlling emotions (AKA EQ or EI).
There is even a whole theory about it.
So how do you know if you own it?
Check out these seven unexpected signs that prove you're more emotionally intelligent than you think.
Let's see if you recognize anything…
1) You express yourself (without hesitation)
Empathy and EQ are often used interchangeably…
And with good reason.
In fact, those who identify as empaths also tend to exhibit high levels of emotional intelligence (EI).
But not always.
The truth is there is one subtle difference between being attuned to your feelings and expressing those emotions to others in a coherent (and appropriate) way.
How is that?
First, EI is a learned skill according to expertsExpressing yourself is a way to increase this.
So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, take a step back, assess the situation, and identify the (real) reason you're upset. Maybe you're hurt, frustrated, disappointed, or even worried…
Let me put it this way.
Not only do you have an uncanny sixth sense when it comes to the emotions of others (think… Order Deanna Troi). But you also have an extensive emotional vocabulary with which you can express yourself freely.
You are self-conscious.
Something that allows you to discuss and resolve conflicts peacefully with others.
2) You rarely lose your temper
Are you good at keeping your emotions under control? Perhaps you are known for your impeccable impulse control.
Another sign that you are emotionally intelligent is your ability to self-regulate (or control) your emotions. Even during high-pressure situations.
It's not that you don't get angry (you're only human). But before you change course (or blame others), think about the “why.”
By that I mean…
You think before you act based on feelings alone. Because at the end of the day, there's usually a reason why we behave the way we do – and you understand that.
Why is that useful?
Well, this ability to explore the 'why' has helped you hone this develop properties such as empathy and compassion.
Two qualities that can contribute to your emotional intelligence.
After all, what's the point of identifying emotions if you don't know how to put that knowledge to good use?
3) You take all sides into account (not just your own)
Another way you avoid conflict is by putting yourself in the shoes of others.
It just comes naturally to you. And that's because you are very observant and observant.
Not to mention, socially conscious.
The fact is that when you meet people for the first time, you can't help but analyze them.
You pick up non-verbal signals, read (even predict) the emotions of others and take the time to understand where someone is coming from.
But above all, you listen.
Active listening allows you to fully pay attention (be present) and communicate effectively.
Everything without judgement.
Not only that, but you also appreciate that your words can have an impact. The result is that you not only think before you speak, but you also think about your presentation.
In short, how you're going to say it.
Something that brings us to the next point on the list.
4) You ask open questions (and skip the small talk)
Are your social skills second to none?
Chances are you have high emotional intelligence.
This is what it is about.
Emotionally intelligent people are known for their strong social and communication skills. And that's because you are invested in understanding and helping the people around you.
One way you do this is by asking open-ended questions and avoiding the usual superficial talk.
That's where active listening comes in handy again.
And by asking the 'yes or no' (dead-end) questions to a miss, you give the speaker the opportunity to open up and express themselves fully.
This way you get to know them better (easily connect).
Not only that, it also shows that you are genuinely interested.
5) You 'click' easily with others
That's right, you are a people magnet. Moreover, when you make friends, they are for life!
Let me explain.
Emotionally intelligent people are extremely socially aware and empathetic.
Not only are they excellent at sensing how someone is feeling, but they are also adept at predicting the needs of others.
Sometimes even before the individual knows what he or she wants.
This often allows people to open up to you from the start and discuss things in a way that only friends can.
This, along with your compassionate (and understanding) attitude, helps build long-lasting and meaningful connections that will last for years to come.
6) You openly admit your mistakes
We all make a mess. It's a fact of life.
But while most people like to beat themselves up for their blunders, emotionally intelligent people get it.
They are not afraid of failure and are not afraid of appearing flawed.
Instead, they embrace their shortcomings (and those of others).
In other words, they are self-aware.
As a result, they create a 'safe space'. Somehow people feel able to admit their own mistakes.
In other words, people feel like they can easily trust you.
7) You like to embrace change
Last but not least, emotionally intelligent people are not fascinated by change.
In fact it is scientifically proven!
You heard right. According to the study, people with high EI exhibit amazing self-control.
This is largely due to a series of emotion regulation strategies you've learned over time.
In other words: you are flexible and can adapt when necessary.
Ultimately, your ability to find new ways to cope (no matter how demanding the situation is), along with your willingness to improve, only strengthens your ability to understand the subtleties and nuances of emotions.
And in doing so, you increase your overall EI.
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