Home Psychology 6 things that highly independent people do differently during the holidays

6 things that highly independent people do differently during the holidays

6 things that highly independent people do differently during the holidays

The holidays are a time of year that has become almost synonymous with celebration and togetherness.

But for highly independent people, it can also be a time when their self-reliant nature still comes to the fore.

These individuals have a unique approach to the festivities that sets them apart from others.

So let’s take a look at the six things that highly independent people do differently during the holidays.

1) They refuse to increase the pressure

The holidays can be a wonderful time for many of us, during which we can fully enjoy ourselves. But let’s be honest, it can also bring a lot of extra pressure.

Some people feel obligated around the holidays.

Obligations to:

  • Spending money when they don’t want to or can’t afford it
  • Go out and have a chat if they don’t feel like it
  • Spend time with people they’d rather not be with
  • Feel happy all the time and hide all completely natural ‘negative’ emotions

This can all cause a lot of stress.

Independent people refuse to go along with that. They know they can choose what they do and how they do it.

They insist on setting their own rules for the holidays.

Sometimes that means declining certain requests, as we’ll see next.

2) They confidently say ‘no’ to invitations

Can’t bear the thought of the work party?

Then don’t go.

I know it can feel easier said than done. But that’s the mentality of independent people.

Instead of worrying about how to get out, they aren’t afraid to stand up for themselves and do what’s right for them.

It can be as simple as saying, “I already have other plans,” even if those plans involve sitting on the couch and eating chocolate.

Independent people are not afraid to go against the flow. So they’re not too concerned about what everyone else is doing or not doing.

They make plans that work for them and throw away the rest.

That makes it easier for them to forgo the people’s fun and say no to some of those festive invitations that the rest of us dread.

3) They are not afraid of alone time

For many people, the holidays can bring melancholy.

With so much attention paid to friends, family and togetherness, it can give us a great sense of connection.

We can’t all play happy families.

When we are not surrounded by loved ones around the holidays, feelings of loneliness are often exacerbated.

We make things worse for ourselves when we think our holidays have to look and feel a certain way. If not, we feel like some kind of outcast.

During the height of COVID-19, I spent one Christmas day all alone. It was the first time in my life I did that.

And the funny thing was…

It was fine.

I lounged in my pajamas all day, eating what I wanted and doing what I wanted. It was actually quite liberating.

Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I realized it was just another day and it didn’t have to be a problem.

Fortunately, I think my independence has helped. I wasn’t afraid to be in my own company and do my own thing.

While there’s a lot of focus on being with others this time of year, independent people recognize that it’s okay to fly solo, too.

In fact, they appreciate their solitude and make time to recharge during the holidays.

They may prioritize self-reflection and introspection to gain clarity or set personal goals for the coming year.

They make sure they engage in activities that they enjoy, whether that’s reading, exercising, writing or pursuing hobbies.

Essentially, they don’t leave behind everything they hold dear just because it’s the holidays.

4) They create new traditions

The holiday season itself is a global cultural and commercial tradition dating back thousands of years.

And so most of us have passed on certain traditions without giving much thought to why we practice them, let alone whether we want to.

But highly independent people tend not to feel bound by traditional norms in the same way.

They are better at embracing the opportunity to explore new customs and rituals. That’s because they are not afraid of change.

This way they can look for unique experiences that match their values ​​and interests.

Maybe it’s spending the holidays abroad. Maybe Christmas will be renamed Friendsmas.

They might forego decorations or gifts and choose to spend their time volunteering.

Instead of sticking to the same tried and true foods they’ve eaten since childhood, they could introduce a completely new menu.

Whatever they do, the point is that they like to put their own spin on it.

This allows them to create their own meaningful traditions that reflect their individuality.

5) They establish and enforce their boundaries

Sure, the holidays are a time of giving, but that doesn’t mean we have to constantly let people take, take, take from us.

For all the reasons we explained at the beginning of this article, this time of year can also bring more pressures and demands.

That makes it even more important that we have strong borders to protect us.

Fortunately, independent people understand the importance of setting boundaries with friends and family during the holidays.

This allows them to set clear expectations and communicate openly about their needs and limitations.

This allows them to maintain a healthy balance between social obligations and personal time.

It means that they are not drawn into obligations that threaten their well-being.

6) They don’t fall into the trap of comparison

The old saying that “comparison is the thief of joy” is doubly true around the holidays.

Everywhere you go, perfect images of the holidays are projected.

We log on to social media and see the real highlights of others’ celebrations, parties and gifts.

No wonder it’s common for jealousy to creep in.

Maybe it seems like everyone is having a good time except us.

We are confronted with smiling faces and non-stop revelry.

In the meantime, we are fed up, lonely or can’t wait for the holidays to be over.

Of course, we never know what happens behind the scenes of someone’s life. But we can quickly forget this and feel like an outsider.

Very independent people are good at that focus on their own lives. So they don’t pay unnecessary attention to what’s happening with someone else.

This frees them from the comparison disease that can strike so easily at this time of year.

Independence doesn’t isolate us, it strengthens us

I think we can all learn a thing or two from very independent people.

We may wrongly think of independence as selfish around the holidays, but it’s time to reframe that as self-care.

We don’t have to sacrifice our well-being for the holidays.

Independence does not have to mean isolating yourself from others. We all need support.

But it can also mean doing things your way leaning on your self-reliance to become your own pillar of strength.


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