Home Psychology 6 subtle signs that you are dealing with someone who regularly breaks promises

6 subtle signs that you are dealing with someone who regularly breaks promises

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6 subtle signs that you are dealing with someone who regularly breaks promises

We’ve all been there, right?

That friend who is “always up for an adventure” until the actual adventure involves leaving the house.

Or the colleague who swears they’ll ‘have that report all ready by Monday’, only to catch you on Tuesday with the excuse ‘my pet ate my work’.

But before you start thinking that everyone is just unreliable, consider this: sometimes people don’t realize that they’re making promises they can’t keep.

They may be too optimistic, or they may not fully understand what they are committed to. And at other times they may be outright liars.

Either way, it’s important to learn how to spot the signs of a promise breaker. This way you can prevent your expectations from being dashed.

Let’s go!

1) They are always ‘busy’ when you need them

I understand: people can sometimes get overwhelmed by life.

Work, family and personal problems: it all adds up. And sometimes, even though we want to keep our word, circumstances can get in our way.

That said, if someone consistently breaks promises and always claims to be busy, there may be more going on than just bad luck or a full schedule.

Perhaps they are not as committed to their commitments as they should be. They may not take their responsibilities seriously or have difficulty managing their time.

They can also avoid confrontation by using busyness as an excuse to not fulfill their obligations.

Certainly, life keeps us all on our toes.

But if someone is always too busy to make time for you, it might be time to think about whether that relationship is really worth keeping.

2) You notice a pattern of weak excuses

When someone promises something, they’re essentially saying, “Hey, I’ll do this for you because I care about you and our relationship.”

But if they repeatedly break that promise, you may start to feel like they don’t actually care about you enough to keep their word.

And it’s even worse when they come up with bad excuses.

For example, imagine asking your best friend to help you move, and they agree. But on moving day they suddenly have a “work event” that they cannot miss.

Mistakes happen, sure.

But if it keeps happening, it shows that maybe they don’t care as much as they say.

If you notice such a pattern, you need to decide: keep giving them chances or reconsider whether this relationship is worth your time and energy.

3) Their words and actions don’t match

If someone continually says one thing but does another, it is a clear sign that he/she has a habit of breaking promises.

You see, if our words and actions don’t match, it means we are not honest or trustworthy.

To promise means to commit to doing something, right? But if what we do doesn’t match what we say, we’re not keeping that promise.

In fact, we lie to ourselves and others.

An example of this is when your partner keeps saying he loves you, but always cancels plans or ignores your needs. It is clear that their actions do not match their words.

Unfortunately, it can also indicate that they are not as invested in the relationship as they claim to be. In short, it’s a red flag.

So if you notice a mismatch in someone’s words and actions, it’s worth considering whether you want to continue to trust or count on them in the future.

4) You feel like you’re constantly chasing them

If someone consistently doesn’t keep their appointments, it can feel like you’re constantly chasing them to get something done.

It’s like they’re always running away from their responsibilities, leaving you to pick up the slack.

And you know what’s crazy? These types of people really exist.

At work, you may send reminders or contact that one colleague, only to hear excuses or empty promises.

It can be extremely draining to think that you probably have to chase them down just to get them to do what they said they would do.

And the worst part is when you realize that you are not really being taken seriously.

Because more often than not, people who break promises often don’t care about your time or your expectations.

So if you find yourself constantly chasing someone, it’s time to evaluate whether this relationship or partnership is worth continuing.

After all, life is too short to spend it chasing people who just don’t care.

5) You are their backup plan

They might say things like, “Hey, I’ll hang out with you if nothing better comes up,” or “I’ll call you if my other plans fail.”

This means that they only consider you as a last resort, and not someone they really want to spend time with.

Unfortunately, if someone says these things to you, it’s a clear sign that you’re not a priority in their life. So you can almost always expect them to break their promises.

Being treated like a plan B can damage your self-esteem.

If this happens often, it may be worth taking a step back and reevaluating the dynamics of the relationship.

Ask yourself: Is this person worth my time and energy? Are there others who really care about me? If so, consider putting your energy into that.

6) They are serial apologists

Picture this: you make plans with a friend and he or she promises they will be there. But when the time comes, they bail and you’re left hanging.

But you know what’s even more annoying?

It’s the fact that this isn’t even the first time they’ve done this. And every time they quickly say sorry and promise it won’t happen again.

That’s what we call a serial apologizer. It’s like a toxic cycle with them: they make a promise, break it, and then apologize. Rinse and repeat.

These types of people always have an excuse. And even if they say they’re sorry, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still left high and dry.

If this sounds familiar, it’s time to stop being a crutch for their irresponsibility.

Don’t let their excuses and excuses hold you hostage any longer. Break the cycle and move on. You deserve so much better.

Final thoughts

I understand that dealing with a chronic promise breaker can be emotionally draining, but you no longer have to be their victim.

Remember that your time and energy are valuable.

So choose to invest them in people who show you through their actions that your trust and expectations matter.

Always surround yourself with people who keep their word, because your well-being deserves that kind of consistency.

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