11 clear signs that your mental toughness sets you apart

There is no denying how valuable mental strength is, not only to our well-being, but also to our success.

In the sports world 83% of coaches say mental toughness is the most important quality someone can possess.

Whether you sink or swim, it usually comes down to how well you can handle the pressures life throws at you.

So how do your confidence and resilience stack up when the going gets tough?

Here are 11 clear signs that your mental toughness is setting you apart.

1) When life hands you lemons, make lemonade

Most of us have learned by now that life isn’t fair.

Sometimes the only choice we have is to accept the hand fate has dealt and try to make the best of it.

People who are mentally strong do just that.

Instead of wasting valuable time and energy feeling sorry for yourself, focus on what you can control.

This may mean that you look for opportunities in difficult situations you find yourself in.

It’s about learning to look at the positive side by learning lessons for the future.

Or it can be as simple as recognizing something is the way it is and moving on instead of perpetuating your suffering.

A big part of your ability to do this may come down to the next thing on our list.

2) Stress is no stranger to you, but you can deal with it

Not many people can live a completely charmed life.

, even when life looks good. Moreover, external happiness is always relative. That means there will always be something that brings pain and suffering.

It seems that daily stress is just part of life. But how much it affects you depends on your mental strength.

Because the most difficult have developed coping strategies to deal with their anxiety and stress.

Maybe it’s meditation, exercise, breathwork, mindfulness, journaling, spending time in nature, or one of the many other stress busters out there.

The key is that you have taken it upon yourself to discover what works for you to release tension.

This helps you perform and maintain focus, even under pressure.

It also shows that you are proactive. You do things that are good for you, for the sake of your well-being.

That says a lot about your level of self-responsibility, which brings me to the next sign…

3) You take radical responsibility for your life

That’s rare.

So many people go around looking for excuses. They prefer to blame the world when something goes wrong.

They explained their bad mood by the way someone else spoke to them. They attribute their lack of success to a system that is rigged against them.

Don’t get me wrong: bad things happen and other people can act like assholes. And as we just established in the point above, life is far from fair.

But while victims focus on the injustice around them, empowered people prefer to roll up their sleeves and get to work.

They believe that they are ultimately responsible for their own lives.

This means that how they feel, think and behave is up to them and them alone.

If you don’t feel the need to make excuses in life, it’s because you are mentally strong enough to carry the burden of your life. own responsibility.

4) Fear does not play a role in your decision making

No matter how brave we are in life, we can never completely get rid of fear.

We don’t need it either. It’s actually a biological drive within us designed to keep us safe.

Without any sense of fear, people tend to be reckless or downright stupid, neither of which looks good.

Fear is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be in the driver’s seat.

Noticing when it appears may be enough to keep it under control. If you can see the role fear plays in your life, you will be one step ahead of the curse.

This way you get a very important opportunity:

You may question that fear instead of accepting it.

When you do that, you can see where it is holding you back or tempting you to act in illogical ways that are against your best interests.

Most growth involves stepping outside your comfort zone. To do this, fear cannot be the deciding factor in your decision-making process.

In brief:

You can feel the fear, but move past it.

5) You can be as stubborn as a mule in pursuing your goals

Good for you. You’ll need it.

We often look with envy at those who made it. We like to believe that they are the “lucky ones”.

Sure, a handful won life’s lottery or were in the right place at the right time.

But often it is a different story. Their success is due to the fact that they were willing to make an effort.

Behind every success story are countless failures that they had to overcome first.

That doesn’t mean you should give it a half-hearted try and then dismiss it if it doesn’t happen.

It means showing tenacity and perseverance despite setbacks and bumps.

After all, those who win are those who didn’t give up at the first hurdle.

6) You have a seemingly endless well of patience

We can think of patience as a bit of a meek quality.

It may even seem contrary to mental toughness. But far from that.

All that willpower we just mentioned often relies on an endless supply of patience.

Not only with others or the world around you, but also with yourself.

Patience is the secret sauce that gives us staying power.

Life doesn’t deliver things in an instant. It takes time.

It takes time to build success. It takes time for wounds to heal. It takes time to learn and grow.

If you can appreciate that, you are more likely to remain calm and focused in challenging situations.

7) You are not deterred by a challenge, but you actively look for it

I admit that all too often I will do anything for an easy life.

It’s tempting to give in when the going gets tough. I can’t help but notice that the activities I most enjoy doing in life are the ones for which I have a natural gift.

I think that’s very common. We are drawn to the things we can excel at without too much effort.

But not everyone thinks this way.

Some people do things purposefully because of the difficulty involved.

It feels extra rewarding to succeed at something we have had to work for. Maybe you feel that way.

If so, rather than shying away from a challenge because it feels harder to achieve, you’ll probably get even more of a kick out of it.

8) You know you’re not perfect, but you believe in yourself with all your heart

Trust that gives the most power has a unique quality:

It is about a healthy self-image, which entails a lot of self-confidence. But it never ends in blind arrogance.

That’s important because it means you can stand behind yourself without being ignorant of your own mistakes and shortcomings.

Mentally strong people stand on their own side in life, but not so naively.

They engage in positive self-talk to encourage and motivate themselves along the way. But they also become realistic about the self-development they still have to do.

They can objectively evaluate their strengths, skills and talents and understand their weaknesses.

It takes a lot of self-love and self-insight to fully get to know yourself. That always means embracing your dark side instead of ignoring it.

9) You can accept your shortcomings and you want to work on them

How graciously can you accept feedback?

How defensive are you during an argument?

The answers to these types of questions reveal a lot about the level of your mental toughness.

People with a fragile ego often have difficulty with criticism. They take a disagreement as a personal attack.

If you are mentally strong, you have a different approach.

You use these things as an opportunity to expand your knowledge and understanding.

10) You don’t spread your negative emotions to other people

Our feelings can be powerful, and sometimes they get the better of all of us.

But in general, you are adept at regulating your emotions.

That means you’re much less likely to:

It’s not about suppressing our emotions or keeping them completely under control.

It’s more about better understanding it so that we can express ourselves in a constructive, healthy and reasonable way.

But that should not be confused with denial or developing a hard shell.

11) You are vulnerable enough to express what you need and want in life

There is an emotional softness in mental toughness that can feel like a paradox. But ironically, it is those who act the loudest who are usually just putting up a front.

It is a defense mechanism that really mentally strong people don’t need.

Instead, they are strong and confident enough to show vulnerability. And in the words of researcher and author Brene Brown:

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage are not always comfortable, but they are never weak.”

Speaking your truth into life, regardless of how it may be received, takes real courage.

Being honest, even when someone may not feel the same, is daring and therefore takes power.

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